Anyone who’s started a new business knows the feeling well: vulnerability.
The definition of vulnerability is the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”
And what could be more exposing than putting your ideas, heart, soul and products out there?
Friend not enemy
You might not know it, but feeling vulnerable is a good sign. It’s not only a very human response to new things, it’s also a good sign that we’re making important changes and taking necessary risks in order to grow.
Vulnerability comes from the feeling that you’re not in control – because we’re never in control when we’re standing on the precipice of change and stepping into unchartered territory.
The clue is to focus on the excitement of the unchartered territory, rather than your feelings of fear. Knowing that we’re not alone in these feelings is a big help because many great people and successful entrepreneurs have had exactly the same feeling.
Can’t go over it. Can’t go under it. Can’t go around it. Got to go through it
Sit with your feelings of discomfort, then move through them so that you can cross over to the other side. That’s where you’ll find confidence waiting for you.
Deal with doubt
Vulnerability comes with another familiar feeling: doubt. Doubt is sneaky but well meaning. It tries to talk us out of new things because its wants to keep us safe in the familiar life we know. But it really doesn’t help us grow.
We interviewed Annie Sowden
– South African entrepreneur and a powerhouse who has started three successful companies – what her approach is when dealing with feelings of vulnerability in her business life.
What prompted you to start or pivot your businesses?
“My first foray into being self-employed grew out of a desire to carve out my own time and earning potential. I was always motivated from a young age to be the master of my own destiny. I was 23 when I started my own business when I bought shares into an existing company that I’d been working with and had helped to build up. That was Breede River Adventures. From there, I slowly but surely moved into other businesses which were all borne out of a passion for a particular focus of mine. Red Hot Events came about as a result of enjoying planning organizing events. Safari Giants grew from my love for travel and making others happy via travel experiences. Up The Creek Festival was an opportunity to combine my love of music and the outdoors – it seemed like the natural thing to do.
My reasons for starting businesses were a combination of enjoying certain things and wanting to do what I was passionate about while carving out my own freedom.”
How did you overcome feelings of doubt and vulnerability in the early days of your businesses?
“I remember the first day of my first business that I was the majority shareholder of. It was 1 Dec 1985 and I remember feeling overwhelmed and “what now?”. As I do with most things, I made a to-do list and kept busy. My way of overcoming feelings of vulnerability is to make a list, keep busy, and keep going! Also, with most of my businesses I’ve had a business partner, which is very useful because it’s really great to be able to talk to someone. It can be very lonely being by yourself and there are no manuals on how to make certain decisions. With some you have to use your intuition. Some you have to do the math. Some decisions are really tough. Some you just know you’re not going to gain any votes for, and you just have to do it anyway. Having someone by your side that you can bounce things off is really useful.”
Do you still feel moments of uncertainty and vulnerability?
“Yes, I think it goes with the territory. As I’ve got older, I’m certainly better prepared. I’m clearer on how to tackle problems. I really feel like I’ve learned an enormous amount and have definitely grown. But the feelings of uncertainty and vulnerability are definitely still there. Especially in times like Covid, and with our country being in the state it currently is in. Yes, there are certainly moments of vulnerability and uncertainty. I don’t think that those ever go away.”
How do you overcome these feelings?
“I think pretty much in the same way when I first started. I talk to people. I have some very trustworthy friends and business partners that I chat to. I do a lot of pondering and thinking and once I’ve processed it all – I take action. I also still continue to keep busy. Covid was very overwhelming, but instead of thinking about what was, what could be, what if, maybe, when are we going to open up – I kept busy. I focused on the job at hand. I didn’t look too far ahead. I didn’t look behind me either. Keeping busy was very useful. At times I made use of other strategies – like making sure I was exercising. During Covid I also started using a meditation app. I surrounded myself with positive people and tried not to be negative. I worked on being grateful for what I do have. That really helped a lot.”
Do you have a network that you can tap into and use as a sounding board?
“Yes. I have two business partners and a husband who I talk to in tough times. I particularly struggle with issues like retrenching staff – hurting people that not through their own fault, have been disadvantaged by the current situation. I find those kinds of situations difficult to deal with and in those instances, I talk to my husband and business partners because after all, they’re tough decisions to roll out. It’s good to talk about how to do things in a fair way. It’s sometimes very easy for me to feel so bad about retrenching someone that I easily give away too much. I find having a solid sounding board with my business partners – who are both men – valuable, because by combining their input with my feminine approach, we reach a very good middle ground.”
What is the greatest tool you make use of to stay the course?
“I think it’s really all of the above. Every now and then – and this has certainly got easier to do as I’ve matured in my role as a boss of a business – I remind myself that I have to be fair, but I also have to be firm. I always stop and think before I make any rash decisions. I’ve learned not to fire off an email hastily or respond quickly. I now really ponder things clearly. Sometimes I’ll write an email to respond to someone to resolve a situation and I’ll panel beat that email ten times. I’ll ask my husband and business partners opinions before I finally pull it all together. That’s really helped me. I’ve found that meditation is very powerful because it teaches you to observe and be open, and also let things go. So, it’s very interesting using that tool.”
Thank you, Annie Sowden, for such an inspiring interview, I’m sure a lot of us relate to your words.
Time to go but I leave you with these takeaway gems for dealing with feelings of vulnerability:
- Feelings of vulnerability are normal and not a sign that you should back off.
- Tap into the wisdom of those who have gone before you and know you’re not alone.
- Stay the course. Don’t overthink. And don’t let doubt deter you.
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